alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
