No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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