The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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