So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A+ Viking dick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
