Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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