Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
