My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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