he puts the penis in happiness.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
