Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
