his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
