Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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