um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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