i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
