I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
