Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
