Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.