watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
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he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
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Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?