It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.