pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!