You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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