hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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