If i come over, it means nothing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
