They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
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I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
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multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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