You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
