It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
