I need help removing her.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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