I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize