I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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