If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
