Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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