why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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