They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
