if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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