How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize