let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
