Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
