let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize