That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
