What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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