Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
