guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
