It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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