He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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