You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
