Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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