Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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