I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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