I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize