They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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