shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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