yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
