am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
