He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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