the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
