so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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