I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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