I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
