my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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