shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
