I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
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No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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